Puisi Anti Rokok (Anti Smoking Poem) byTaufik Ismail

Tuhan Sembilan Senti

Indonesia adalah sorga luar biasa ramah bagi perokok,

tapi tempat siksa tak tertahankan bagi orang yang tak merokok,

di sawah petani merokok,

di pabrik pekerja merokok,

di kantor pegawai merokok,

di kabinet menteri merokok,

di reses parlemen anggota DPR merokok,

di Mahkamah Agung yang bergaun toga merokok, 

hansip-bintara- perwira nongkrong merokok,

di perkebunan pemetik buah kopi merokok,

di perahu nelayan penjaring ikan merokok,

di pabrik petasan pemilik modalnya merokok,

di pekuburan sebelum masuk kubur orang merokok,

Indonesia adalah semacam firdaus-jannatu- na’im sangat ramah bagi perokok,

tapi tempat siksa kubur hidup-hidup bagi orang yang tak merokok,

di balik pagar SMU murid-murid mencuri-curi merokok,

di ruang kepala sekolah…ada guru merokok,

di kampus mahasiswa merokok,

di ruang kuliah dosen merokok,

di rapat POMG orang tua murid merokok,

di perpustakaan kecamatan ada siswa bertanya apakah ada buku tuntunan cara merokok,

Di angkot Kijang penumpang merokok,

di bis kota sumpek yang berdiri yang duduk orang bertanding merokok,

di loket penjualan karcis orang merokok,

di kereta api penuh sesak orang festival merokok,

di kapal penyeberangan antar pulau penumpang merokok,

di andong Yogya kusirnya merokok, sampai kabarnya kuda andong minta diajari pula merokok,

Negeri kita ini sungguh nirwana kayangan para dewa-dewa bagi perokok,

tapi tempat cobaan sangat berat bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Rokok telah menjadi dewa, berhala, tuhan baru, diam-diam menguasai kita,

Di pasar orang merokok,

di warung Tegal pengunjung merokok,

di restoran, di toko buku orang merokok,

di kafe di diskotik para pengunjung merokok,

Bercakap-cakap kita jarak setengah meter tak tertahankan asap rokok,

bayangkan isteri-isteri yang bertahun-tahun menderita di kamar tidur

ketika melayani para suami yang bau mulut dan hidungnya mirip asbak rokok,

Duduk kita di tepi tempat tidur ketika dua orang bergumul saling

menularkan HIV-AIDS sesamanya,

tapi kita tidak ketularan penyakitnya.

Duduk kita disebelah orang yang dengan cueknya mengepulkan asap rokok

di kantor atau di stopan bus,

kita ketularan penyakitnya.

Nikotin lebih jahat penularannya ketimbang HIV-AIDS,

Indonesia adalah sorga kultur pengembangbiakan nikotin paling subur di dunia,

dan kita yang tak langsung menghirup sekali pun asap tembakau itu, bisa ketularan kena,

Di puskesmas pedesaan orang kampung merokok,

di apotik yang antri obat merokok,

di panti pijat tamu-tamu disilahkan merokok,

di ruang tunggu dokter pasien merokok,

dan ada juga dokter-dokter merokok,

Istirahat main tenis orang merokok,

di pinggir lapangan voli orang merokok,

menyandang raket badminton orang merokok,

pemain bola PSSI sembunyi-sembunyi merokok,

panitia pertandingan balap mobil, pertandingan bulutangkis, turnamen sepakbola

mengemis-ngemis mencium kaki sponsor perusahaan rokok,

Di kamar kecil 12 meter kubik, sambil ‘ek-‘ek orang goblok merokok,

di dalam lift gedung 15 tingkat dengan tak acuh orang goblok merokok,

di ruang sidang ber-AC penuh, dengan cueknya, pakai dasi, orang-orang goblok merokok,

Indonesia adalah semacam firdaus-jannatu- na’im sangat ramah bagi orang perokok,

tapi tempat siksa kubur hidup-hidup bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Rokok telah menjadi dewa, berhala, tuhan baru, diam-diam menguasai kita,

di sebuah ruang sidang ber-AC penuh, duduk sejumlah ulama terhormat

merujuk kitab kuning

dan mempersiapkan sejumlah fatwa.

Mereka ulama ahli hisap.

Haasaba, yuhaasibu, hisaaban.

Bukan ahli hisab ilmu falak,

tapi ahli hisap rokok.

di antara jari telunjuk dan jari tengah mereka terselip berhala-berhala kecil,

sembilan senti panjangnya,

putih warnanya,

kemana-mana dibawa dengan setia,

satu kantong dengan kalung tasbih 99 butirnya,

mengintip kita dari balik jendela ruang sidang,

tampak kebanyakan mereka memegang rokok dengan tangan kanan,

cuma sedikit yang memegang dengan tangan kiri.

Inikah gerangan pertanda yang terbanyak kelompok ashabul yamiin dan yang

sedikit golongan ashabus syimaal?

asap rokok mereka mengepul-ngepul di ruangan AC penuh itu.

mamnu’ut tadkhiin, ya ustadz. Laa tasyrabud dukhaan, ya ustadz.

Kyai, ini ruangan ber-AC penuh.

haadzihi al ghurfati malii’atun bi mukayyafi al hawwa’i.

kalau tak tahan, di luar itu sajalah merokok.

laa taqtuluu anfusakum. Min fadhlik, ya ustadz.

25 penyakit ada dalam khamr. Khamr diharamkan.

15 penyakit ada dalam daging khinzir (babi). Daging khinzir diharamkan.

4000 zat kimia beracun ada pada sebatang rokok. Patutnya rokok diapakan?

tak perlu dijawab sekarang, ya ustadz. Wa yuharrimu ‘alayhimul khabaaith.

mohon ini direnungkan tenang-tenang, karena pada zaman Rasulullah dahulu,

sudah ada alkohol, sudah ada babi, tapi belum ada rokok.

jadi ini PR untuk para ulama.

tapi jangan karena ustadz ketagihan rokok,

lantas hukumnya jadi dimakruh-makruhkan, jangan,

para ulama ahli hisap itu terkejut mendengar perbandingan ini.

banyak yang diam-diam membunuh tuhan-tuhan kecil yang kepalanya berapi itu,

yaitu ujung rokok mereka.

kini mereka berfikir. Biarkan mereka berfikir.

asap rokok di ruangan ber-AC itu makin pengap, dan ada yang mulai

terbatuk-batuk,

pada saat sajak ini dibacakan malam hari ini,

sejak tadi pagi sudah 120 orang di Indonesia mati karena penyakit rokok.

korban penyakit rokok lebih dahsyat ketimbang korban kecelakaan lalu lintas,

lebih gawat ketimbang bencana banjir, gempa bumi dan longsor,

cuma setingkat di bawah korban narkoba,

pada saat sajak ini dibacakan, berhala-berhala kecil itu sangat

berkuasa di negara kita,

jutaan jumlahnya,

bersembunyi di dalam kantong baju dan celana,

dibungkus dalam kertas berwarni dan berwarna,

diiklankan dengan indah dan cerdasnya,

tidak perlu wudhu atau tayammum menyucikan diri,

tidak perlu ruku’ dan sujud untuk taqarrub pada tuhan-tuhan ini,

karena orang akan khusyuk dan fana dalam nikmat lewat upacara menyalakan

api dan sesajen asap tuhan-tuhan ini,

Rabbana, beri kami kekuatan menghadapi berhala-berhala ini.

Amin Yaa Rabbalalamin

--Attempted English Version--

Nine Centimetres God

Indonesia is amazingly friendly haven for smokers,

but the unbearable torment for those who do not smoke,

In the the rice fields farmers were smoking,

In the factories workers were smoking,

In the office employees were smoking,

In the cabinet ministers were smoking,

In the parliamentary reces, members of parliament were smoking,

In the Supreme Court, they who dressed in togas were smoking, 

Security officers-police aides hung out for smoking,

At the coffee plantation, coffee bean pickers were smoking,

In the fishing boat, fishermen were smoking,

In a firecracker factory, its owner are smoking,

In the cemetery, people were smoking before entering the grave,

Indonesia is a kind of paradise-Na'im jannatu- very friendly for smokers,

But the living grave punishment for the people who do not smoke,

Behind the fences of high schools students were smoking surreptitiously,

In the principal's office ... there were teachers who were smoking,

In the colleges students were smoking,

In a faculty hall lecturer are smoking,

In the PTA meeting the parents were smoking,

In the district libraries a student ask if there were books about how to smoke,

In the public transportation passengers were smoking,

In the crowded city bus people who stands and people who sits were competing to smoke,

In the ticket window the ticket person are smoking,

In the packed train there were festivals of smoke,

In the inter-island ferry passengers were smoking,

In the horse carriage of Yogya their coachmen were smoking, even the horses were reportedly asked to be taught to smoke,

Our country is really a heaven of the gods for smokers,

but a very hard temptation for people who do not smoke,

Cigarette has become a god, an idol, a new god, quietly dominate us,

At the market people were smoking,

In Tegal food stall visitors were smoking,

In the restaurants, in book stores people were smoking,

At the cafe at the discotheque visitors were smoking,

Conversation between us within half a meter have become unbearable with smoke,

Imagine the suffering of wives for years in the bedroom

when serving husbands with mouths and noses smell like ashtrays,

If we sat on the edge of the bed when two people struggle each other transmitting HIV-AIDS, we would not catch the disease.

If we sat next to people who indifferently puffing smokes

in the office or at the bus shelter,

We will catch the disease.

Nicotine is more evil than HIV-AIDS,

Indonesia is heaven for the most fertile nicotine breeding culture in the world,

and we who do not directly inhale tobacco smoke even once, could catch the hit,

In rural health centre, the villagers smoke,

In the pharmacies people who lines up for medicine smoke,

at the massage parlours guests are welcomed to smoke,

at the doctor's waiting room the patient smokes,

and there are doctors who smoke too,

when resting after a tennis game people were smoking,

on the edge of a volleyball court people were smoking,

while carrying badminton rackets people were smoking,

the National football players were secretly smoking,

the committees for car racing tournaments, badminton competitions, football matches

were begging to kiss the feet of cigarettes corporate sponsors,

in a small room 12 cubic meters, while taking shits, stupid people were smoking,

inside a lift of a 15 levels building, dumb person was smoking indifferently,

in a fully air-conditioned courtroom, wearing a tie, the stupid was smoking indifferently,

Indonesia is a kind of paradise-Na'im jannatu- very friendly for the smokers,

but a living grave punishment for people who do not smoke,

smoking has become a god, an idol, a new god, quietly dominate us,

in a full air-conditioned courtroom, sat a number of distinguished religious scholars

who were referring to the yellow religious books

and were preparing a number of fatwas.

They are expert scholars for hisap (sucking).

Haasaba, yuhaasibu, hisaaban.

Not experts on celestial hisab (counting)

but experts for cigarette’s hisap (sucking) .

In between their index finger and middle finger, they tucked small idols,

nine inches in length,

white in color,

it was brought everywhere faithfully,

at the same pocket with 99 granules rosary,

we peek through the window of the courtroom,

seemed most of them were holding a cigarette in their right hand,

only a few who hold them with the left hand.

is this a sign that the biggest number are ashabul yamiin group and the smallest number are ashabus syimaal group?

the cigarette smokes are steaming in the packed full air conditioned room.

mamnu'ut tadkhiin, ya ustadz. Laa tasyrabud dukhaan, ya ustadz.

respected Sirs, this was a fully air-conditioned room.

haadzihi al ghurfati malii'atun bi mukayyafi al hawwa'i.

if you cannot bear, just smoke outside.

laa taqtuluu anfusakum. Min fadhlik, ya ustadz.

25 diseases exist in khamr. Khamr is forbidden.

15 diseases exist in khinzir (pork). Khinzir meat is forbidden.

4000 toxic chemicals are in a cigarette. What do you think we should do with cigarettes?

no need to be answered now, ya ustadz. Wa yuharrimu 'alayhimul khabaaith.

please contemplate this calmly, because the at the time of the Prophet,

there were alcohol, there were pigs, but there were no cigarettes.

let this be a homework for the religious scholars.

but don’t do, because you are addicted to cigarettes,

then you make the law as makruh, do not,

the religious scholars, experts of hisap (sucking) were surprised to hear this comparison.

many secretly kill the small gods with the fiery heads, the end of their cigarettes

now they think. Let them think.

cigarette’s smoke in the air-conditioned room was getting stuffy, some people were beginning to cough;

at the time of this poem was read,

in a day there were already 120 people in Indonesia died from diseases caused by smokes.

the victims of cigarette caused disease were more devastating than the victims of traffic accidents,

more serious than floods, earthquakes and landslides,

just a notch below the victims of drugs,

at the time this poem was read, the small idols were very powerful in our country,

millions in number,

hiding in the pockets of shirts and pants,

wrapped in colored papers,

advertised beautifully and intelligently,

no need for ablutions or tayammum to purify ourselves, no need for bows and prostrations to obey these gods,

because people will be solemnly and transitory in favor of passing the ceremonial lighting fire and smoke offerings for these gods,

O God, give us the strength to face these idols.

Amin Yaa Rabbalalamin