People Handling Lessons

Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

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Part Two

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

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Part Three

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

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Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Taken from:
Dale Carnegie (1936) How to Win Friends and Influence People.

--end--

Sajak Bagus dari Cecep S.Hari

KENANG-KENANGAN

Bagaimana harus kuucapkan pengakuan ini: Aku jatuh cinta
berulangkali pada matamu, danau dalam hutan di negeri ajaib
yang jauh menyelusup dalam ingatan itu.
Berabad-abad yang lalu, kuucapkan selamat tinggal pada apa pun
yang berbau dongeng, atau masa silam.
Tetapi cinta,bukan sebotol coca cola. Atau film Disney;
di sana tokoh apa pun tak pernah mati.
Juga bukan Rumi yang menari. Sebab pada matamu bertemu semua musim,
sejarah, dan sesuatu yang mengingatkan aku
pada suatu hari ketika waktu berhenti, dan kusapa engkau
mesra sekali. Kini, bahkan wajahmu samar kuingat
kembali. Haruskah kuucapkan pengakuan ini: Aku jatuh cinta
berulangkali pada matamu, danau dalam hutan di negeri ajaib
yang jauh menyelusup dalam ingatan itu. Tetapi cinta,
bukan sekotak popok kertas. Atau sayap
sembilan puluh sembilan burung Attar yang terbakar. Cinta,

barangkali, kegagapanku mengecup sepasang alismu

1994

Beautiful Poem by Cecep S.Hari

Translated by me:


Cecep Syamsul Hari

REMINISCENCE

How should I say this: I fall in love
with your eyes over and over again,
lakes inside a forest in the wonderland
that seek deep inside the memory. Hundreds of years ago, I said goodbye to everything
that smelled like fairy tales, or the past. But love,

is not a bottle of Coca-Cola. Or a Disney movie;
in there nobody ever dies.
It is not a dancing Rumi too. Because in your eyes met all seasons, history, and something that reminds me

that one day when time stopped, and I greeted you
so intimately. Now, even your face I dimly recall.
Should I say this confession: I fall in love
with your eyes over and over again, lakes inside a forest in the wonderland
that seek deep inside the memory. But love,
is not a box of diapers. Or wings of ninetynine flaming Attar birds. Love,

probably, is when I stuttered to kiss your pair of eyes.